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V KINDA NASTY OLD COMIC
from when i was more invested in making stuff as uncomfy as possible



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V Stand Up:
When COVID fully eases up, I would like to begin performing stand up at house shows, etc.

Here are some jokes I've written:

Joke 1: You guys ever heard of the Mandela Effect? You know, where we all misremember something so it's like we've entered an alternate reality? The most popular being the the Bearanstain Bears?
. Like everybody remembers it as STEIN but it's STAIN.
. Honestly, I'm starting to believe that shit.
Yeah, because one day we all woke up and decided Family Guy ain't cool.
That's why I'm working on a youth-oriented Family Guy reboot called "That Family Dude" where Peter wears Vans and has never masturbated.

Joke 2: Did you guys know Ben and Jerry's is actually, like, super politically active? I think it's so awesome.
But they are a corporation, and thus not immune to short-sighted ignorance. Like, did you hear that they're making a flavor named after disgraced New York City politican William "Boss" Tweed?
Like, do they not know he stole an estimated 200 million dollars from New York City taxpayers in 1877? Nor of his shameful death in prison in 1878?
Take a look in the mirror, guys!

Joke 3: Who here remembers Lunchables? I used to love that shit as a kid. In college, though, the name starts to lose its meaning.
Because, like, you learn any food is lunchable!
You wake up at noon and, oof, sure...a slice of white bread with mayo and a piece of lunch meat sounds good. Can I have a spoonful of peanut butter for dessert?
Really, the only food that /isn't/ lunchable, I've found, is Spanish slow roasted lamb with rosemary and anchovy, duck fat potatoes, and salsa verde.
I mean, by the time I rub the garlic, rosemary, anchovy, anchovy oil, and olive oil paste into the lamb shoulder I was starving and needed to get to class!
The 3 to 4 hour wait time was a no-go. Then you boil the potatoes and your like, well, time to melt this duck fat!
Nope. 1 to 2 hour wait.
Don't even get me started on the salsa verde! Let me see - parsley, anchovies, mint, lemon, olive oil, capers, and...FUCK. Forgot to buy the garlic paste.

Just don't even...its inflexibly a dinner dish.

Joke 4:
People always say you should "dress for the job you want, not the job you have".
But what if the job you want isn't really /real/ yet?
What if you're too forward thinking and there isn't yet a context for your dream?
Like me.
I'm tasked with answering "what does the Foot Locker manager who kills Cisco Adler look like?
I eventually just settled on a Foot Locker uniform and said 'fuck it'.

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V SCRIPT:
The three friends and jerry walked to the shell station nearest their house to purchase energy drinks.

They went back to the house and went wild, wrestled.
Then awoke werewolf.
“You boys best be leaving now”
“STFU”
They pissed in his vents
They smashed shit, including the crystal.
“My crystal!!”
“Oh crap!”

The guy who made the Paranoid Android music video also made this cartoon.

One of the great music videos IMO

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v Star Date: April 12th, 2021 “Hello, World!” - Chapter 1: Introduction to Minimal Blogging

Star Date: January 28th, 2021.
I think this is the date that my buddy Alex told me to start a blog so he could keep up with “whatever I’m into at the moment” when we can’t really see each other all the time like we used to. Then I got scared because I realized I wan’t really into anything at the moment.
Star Date: April 12th, 2021.
I’m working on my website and decide that I will include a blog because I think it would be a good way to keep up with “whatever I’m into at the moment”. Then I get scared because I realize I’m not really into anything at the moment.
I was initially going to use Bloxsom but it seems like too much trouble lmao so here’s this. Just for funzies :-) Maybe I will use this.

I'm not really into anything at the moment, at least not in the way I used to be where I would be hyper-obsessed with a topic or feeling which existed outside of myself and my immediate reality. Maybe I'm depressed. Here is a video to introduce what I want to talk about tho:

In Harrison and I's outdated artist statement we claim: "We are interested in how deliberately lo-fi media recognizes experience and memory which seems otherwise esoteric. As such, we hope that by pulling material from our and others pasts and using outdated file formats we can feel what we hadn’t the time for in hindsight."
There is something to a video like this that feels mystical. It is a 2008 re-upload of a low budget music video downloaded from a record label's website an indeterminable number of years prior. Without context it seems like a school project. You can feel the friendship in it. It is edited like a young band would edit a video today. It has some very Final Cut-esque edits. It feels amateur, but in a better way than kids from DePaul doing this with twangly guitars. I know the context, kind of. They were on the Rephlex label, which was run by Aphex Twin and which has a lot of music that I like. Pretty cool!!

My earliest memories of the internet are mystical. Every kid thinks the internet has powers and is evil. My older sister would not tell me ghost stories to scare me but instead show me websites. On my seventh birthday my friend Ethan and I stayed up all night and used the website she would troll us with but we couldn't use it right, we couldn't troll ourselves, but we still got scared and thought a demon was in the garage.

When I thought this was going to be a Bloxsom blog, I went onto etutorials.org to read some tutorials. Go to that website, it hits the same markers I'm talking about.


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